You are one selfish motherfucker!! Do you like the pain that you have caused? Do you understand that you have destroyed something that you may never have again? You better start fixing things and fixing things well or so help me God.....

The familiar pull is there-I'm drawn, icarus to his sun. I've been burned already, and yet here I am again. 

I feel so very alone. I want nothing more than to have someone's arms around me. I miss being able to go out and be surrounded by people who care about me. I feel empty to a point. I feel like I am nothing. I feel like I am not wanted. I am tired.

I desire the things which will destroy me in the end...

Until you figure out what drives you you'll never find true happiness. If you want to bring happiness to others lives you need to find happiness in your own first. You need to figure out what makes you tick before you worry about pleasing ANYONE else.